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18 Lines

by Scott Joffe

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1.
18 Lines 03:52
We planned to sell the house this fall, So I was touchin' up some walls, I went to close her door and there they were. I hadn't really noticed them since, Well I've forgotten when, The history of our one-time little girl. Well I just stared and wondered, what happened to the time. She's leaving us for college and now I come to find...these 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door. The first at 3' 7" , the last at 5'4". In between our memories of after and before, These 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door. This one in red's from '99, We had a scare, but she came out fine, Her fever must've lasted 11 days. And here she hit a growin' spell, 7 lines from nine to 12, I'm thankful Lord and here I count the ways. It's funny how a little thing can make you want to cry, But life is made of little things, and now I'm glad that I made these.... 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door. The first at 3' 7" , the last at 5'4". In between our memories of after and before, These 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door. We thought that what we needed was a small and modern house But I've found a reason for second thoughts right now....these 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door. The first at 3' 7" , the last at 5'4". In between our memories of after and before, These 18 lines along the edge of her bedroom door.
2.
I want to know who it was,   Who made you believe you were not good enough. I wonder if they'd have something to say if they knew the damage they've done. ‘Cause I see the blue in your eyes,  Is more than the color that's living inside. It's draggin’ you down, like gravity's found, a spirit that died. And though you've grown to walk with doubt, Here's my promise, You'll always have this, Love I give you now.  This mountain of pain in your past, Does not rise before you, but still holds you back. So maybe it's time to carefully and climb up ahead and find a new path. And if you come to walk with doubt, Here's my promise, You'll always have this, Love I give you now. When you've only known the dark, Light can hurt your eyes, But soon it starts-to fill your heart,  And ease your mind. And if you come to walk with doubt, Here's my promise, You'll always have this, Love I give you now.
3.
I wish I was water winding down a wooded stream, Gently making music as I go. I'd roll around the rocks and under fallen trees, Happy to be going with the flow. 'Cause it's been hard for me, To settle down and see, There's an easy way to go... Like the water, A rainbow in the sky is painted water. When everything is dry we pray for water. The tears that say good-bye are salt and, water pouring from our soul, They ease the pain of letting go... Like the water. I wish I was water in a still and silent lake, Reflecting all the beauty up above. Always calm and fluid through the ripples and the waves, That come and go whenever there is love. I should have hung around, And maybe given ground, But I've never found a way to live... Like the water, A rainbow in the sky is painted water. When everything is dry we pray for water. The tears that say good-bye are salt and, water pouring from our soul, They ease the pain of letting go... Like the water. And I wish I could say, “I know I'll find my way, 'Cause now I have the faith to fall...” Like the water, A rainbow in the sky is painted water. When everything is dry we pray for water. The tears that say good-bye are salt and, water pouring from our soul, They ease the pain of letting go... Like the water.

about

It took me many years of writing to actually start writing songs that came from an open, honest place. "18 Lines" was written after my family's move from Fairfax, VA to Austin, TX. My daughter was still young, but something about our move put my mind in the future --- imagining the time she'll be leaving us for college. Little did I know that the "leaving" starts much younger. As she grows up and separates more and more (almost 15 now) I'm continually faced with situations where I want to hold on, but I have no choice but to let go. It's like so many other transitions and experiences in life that I want to avoid, but cannot. I dread the unavoidable, it comes, it passes, and we go on.

I struggle every day to live "Like The Water". There are not many days that I'm able to just let go and be. My mind is swirling with what-if's and ramifications and obstacles and why's and worries. I sometimes get angry with myself for wasting so many days consumed by fear. I still don't have an answer for that, but I just keep ploughing ahead and pretend I'll get there one day.

I wrote "Love I Give You Now" for everyone, like and including me, who grew up with the overt or subtle message that they're not OK the way they are. People who cling to the hope that the person they'd like to hear these words from will one day come through and express or demonstrate their love. For many, those words or those actions never come -- not because they're not worthy, but because the other person is incapable of loving. We don't know that, though, and by the time we do, the pain has been so deeply rooted that it can seem impossible to move beyond. This song is a chance for people to hear those words.

Thanks to Evan Voyles for his support and prodding, and thanks to Craig Ross for his guidance, care, and production chops.

credits

released June 21, 2015

All songs written by Scott Joffe
Produced by Craig Ross in Austin, TX

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Scott Joffe Austin, Texas

Scott Joffe is a songwriter living in Austin, TX. He's a past winner of the Austin Songwriters Group "Song of The Year" (for "18 Lines"). Many of Scott's songs are autobiographical, and many are about shared experiences he observes in other people's lives. Hopefully, they are songs you can "step inside of".

Scott grew up in Vineland, in southern New Jersey.
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